The Last Thoughts of Snyder

I swear I’m done talking about the #SnyderCut after this.

I just have a few more thoughts about this colossal piece of film that didn’t feel like they could’ve fit into a video review, mostly because they involve spoilers for the movie and I’m trying to make sure any review of any film I do is spoiler free. I do however need to get these thoughts out of my head and put down somewhere so I can move onto other stuff. So let’s talk about #SnyderCut one more time eh?

First, let’s address the awkwardly proportioned elephant in the room. This film is displayed in 4:3 instead of the more typical 16:9 for movies. Why?

“To preserve Zack Snyder’s creative vision.”

This makes sense in a way because 4:3 is the best resolution for huge IMAX screens, but this movie is not getting a theatrical release where IMAX screens can show it. It’s being shown on HBO Max. A streaming service. Get out of your butt Snyder, 4:3 is just plain stupid for the setting your film was actually released in.

Moving on, Martian Manhunter makes two separate appearances in this film and both times it makes on sense whatsoever.

The first time occurs I don’t know, somewhere like 2 hours in after a really good scene between Ma Kent and Lois Lane where they talk about the struggle of relating to people who talk about missing Superman, because not only did they lose Superman, but they lost Clark Kent. It’s a pretty touching scene and one of the very few that exist in the DCEU that make me believe there is any actual connection between Lois Lane and Clark Kent.

All that wonderful emotional payoff is totally undercut though when after Ma Kent leaves she FREAKING shapeshifts into the Martian Manhunter and then into the Colonel guy from Man of Steel. When I saw this I audibly said, “what… why?”.

Now they could’ve salvaged it by having Martian Manhunter come in during the final battle and help out, but nah, why show off a new hero when you don’t actually plan on having them do any hero stuff? Why not instead do a reshoot where we can have him talk to a noticeably less jacked Bruce Wayne about how there are still bad guys out there. Because there’s no way the Justice League could be aware of the coming danger… it’s not like they looked right at the next big baddie right through a portal.

Oh wait…

Mind you this is what I described in my video review as the 4th ending to the movie. It’s the definition of excess, and that’s saying a lot for a Zack Snyder film.

Speaking of endings, let’s address the plethora of them that exist in this movie. The first, and easily the best, is shortly after the big battle wraps up and all the heroes pose together for your classic hero shot, this would have been a lovely ending to the movie, because it’s where the story is done. Sure a bunch of stuff happens after that, but none of it relates to the story of Justice League, it’s just teasers for future movies that probably won’t happen.

Hold on, I can already here you saying, “MARVEL DOES THIS ALL THE TIME, WHY DON’T YOU CRITICIZE THEM FOR IT!” First of all, grab a napkin and wipe some of that drool from your mouth, you look silly. Second Marvel does this in noticeably differently then DC. They stick their teasers for future movies in the credits, you know, after the movie is over so you, the audience member know that whatever you see that little juicy teaser, it’s not supposed to be considered part of the story of the actual movie. It’s a small, but very meaningful difference. Got it? Cool.

The second ending to Justice League is the same teaser from the 2017 theatrical version, Deathstroke goes onto a yacht, meets with Lex Luthor and they talk about making their own evil Justice League, because Darkseid is clearly a Justice League 3 villain, so they need someone else to fill in the gap for a Justice League 2.

The third ending is another dream/vision sequence where Batman is moving around a destroyed earth with some other randoms including Jared Leto’s Joker, and for some reason beyond sanity Batman and Joker have like a 5-6 minute conversation where Joker is mostly guilt tripping Batman about letting people die. Yes, in Zack Snyder’s Justice League, there is a scene where the Joker unironically mocks Batman about letting people die. It’s some seriously stupid stuff. It also features an evil/mind controlled/who even cares at this point Superman showing up to presumably murder them all.

The final ending is the previously mentioned one where Martian Manhunter shows up to ask Bruce Wayne if he can join the Justice League.

This absurd over-indulgence by Snyder in being totally unable to settle on an actual ending to the moving and just shoving all of them in is the perfect encapsulation of why despite thinking the #SnyderCut is a huge step up from the 2017 Justice League, the movie ultimately falls short in my mind.

Ok I’m good. I got it out of my system. No more DC talk till the next movie comes out.

When is that anyways, August? Which one is that… Oh it’s James Gunn’s Suicide Squad sequel/reboot. Oh boy I’m definitely gonna have some thoughts about that one.

Till then, have a great day and make good choices will ya?

Image courtesy of Warner Brothers, HBO Max, Zack Snyder etc. Please don’t sue.